Stepping Away: Reflections on a Social Media Hiatus

I took a 12-week break from posting on Social Media and here is what happened.

A little over a year ago, I went viral. I had a ton of mixed feelings. It was exciting and overwhelming. I dreamed of being a science and social science communicator, but I had no way to realize it. Then, overnight, it was in my lap. But like most things that happen too quickly, I had no plan and no way to move forward, but I wanted to more than anything.

Social media is a lot for anyone, As a spouse, a mom, and a full-time working person, it was one more thing I needed to know fit into a schedule that I had so little breathing room. I also needed to walk a fine line of keeping my work life and social media separate. I didn’t want to (and still don’t want) center content creation in my home and in front of my kids. While I respect and admire so many creators, I want to make sure that my kids have lots of aspirations, not just those related to social media. I was and am still struggling to figure out this balance.

I am also a person who suffers from depression and ADHD (and am horrible at spelling and proofreading). That means that I feel like I can do everything, but actually, I need to really focus on setting myself up for success. There are lots of things happening in my life, not just those that I share, but all of those things that affect my mental health. So the balance of all that is a lot and has created artificial pressure on me to do a good job, and I feel like I fail when I don’t post the way that I want.

Insecurity and shallow thoughts crept in; I got scared of losing followers. I got scared of making a fool of myself. I had mostly positive feedback, but I also had some serious trolls. It all became too much for me, and I totally shut down. I had gotten so far away from what I liked about posting on social, and I took the accusations of strangers so seriously that I started doubting myself.

I know that we live in a time when people don’t take experts seriously; I mean, have you seen the History Channel? To me, archaeology is crucial to understanding our shared human history and culture – it helps us understand who we are and where we came from. That’s seriously important stuff, and it’s a crucial perspective for people to have when the world can feel so divided and fragmented. I wanted to bring people together through a shared love of history and a desire to learn more about the world. I want to share that knowledge and my experiences working with people in this field. Sharing that knowledge and talking about history are my passions.

Anytime I repeated the successes of that first post, the horrible people would come out of the woodwork. It was like a magic number of views, and suddenly, I could not read comments or messages because they all became mean and horrible. Comments that poke at your insecurities feel harsher than you can imagine. I am already working in a space that is dominated by men (most of whom are not professionally trained historians or archaeologists) and young women still in school. I had to take a massive step back and decide why I was here and if I wanted to stay in these spaces.

I want to make sure that I am bringing value to everyone and that people are interested in what I am talking about. That takes time. I have been working in archaeology for a long time. I am not a student, I am not a professional content creator, and I got self-conscious. I also see all the pain and suffering in the world, and I know that archaeology can feel frivolous sometimes. But I also know in my heart that it is important not just for researchers but also to remember all the people of the world and come to some universal truths about understanding people.

The people who are really engaged are amazing, and so many of you have been so kind.

With that all said, I am not going to make any promises, but I am going to set some goals, and I would love for you all to help me.

But here are my new ground rules: First, I will only read comments for the first 24 hours after a post. I will only be looking at messages once a week.

My goal is to post at least once a week based on what I think is cool; the algorithm be damned. I have never made any money from social media, and I probably never will, which means that I am going to give myself more grace about the quality and professional polish of what I do.

I am going to accept that I am going to lose a lot of followers, and that is going to have to be okay.

My goal is to experiment to see what I like to do the most. I would love to visit more sites, interview folks, and collaborate with other creators. But I also have to remember that I have to work and parent and be a partner.

Finally, my goal is going to be to get joy from this, not stress.