New Year Resolutions are Trash

Archaeologists might study ancient trash, but this trash is not for us!

One of the many things that I have learned through my short yet often challenging life is that you always need a goal. A goal keeps you centered and gives you something to work towards or look forward to. The second thing I’ve learned is that our goals are rarely achieved, and when they are achieved, most are not in the way we’ve anticipated, nor do they meet our expectations. But that’s why I want to discuss the distinction between attainable and unattainable goals.

Now, before you tell me that chasing goal after goal doesn’t lead to fulfillment, I am aware, mostly because I tried it. Chasing one goal after another means that you never stop and then burn out. I did this, I burned out! I also got to a place where there was no joy in achieving the goal, it was all about what next. This is not a great way to live. That’s why I want to talk about attainable versus unattainable goals.

Attainable vs. Unattainable Goals

Before I delve into the differences between attainable and unattainable goals, I want to explain why I prefer to set goals rather than make New Year’s resolutions. I may not have any official expertise on the subject, but I do have personal experience.

I spent over a decade working towards my goal of becoming an underwater archaeologist, and I faced many obstacles along the way. Despite the challenges, I persisted, knowing that achieving this goal would happen if I kept trying. However, when I finally achieved my goal, it didn’t feel the way I expected it to. While it was an achievable goal, it required years of hard work and sacrifice, and I came to realize that for many people, pursuing such a specific goal often becomes overshadowed by other life commitments and responsibilities.

For example, I’ve set many goals that were either unachievable or just plain unrealistic. Even some of my tangible goals, like getting fit or eating healthy, proved to be beyond my reach.

Take the goal of getting fit, for instance. What does it actually mean to be fit? Is there a specific level of fitness one can attain that would be considered sufficient? Or is it a never-ending pursuit? Personally, I don’t believe it’s possible to achieve a universal level of fitness, and it’s not because I’m being unkind to myself or anyone else. But a goal needs a finish line.

For me, attainable goals are specific enough to measure or finish but vague enough to allow yourself grace and embrace that there is not one way to do anything. Unattainable goals are anything that is so vague that you never know if you’re done or so specific that if you make one mistake, the goal falls apart.

Specific, Measurable, and Achievable

Instead, I think it’s more helpful to set specific, measurable goals, such as running a 5K by the end of the year, reading 3 books that I haven’t had time for, and connecting with my kids for at least 10 minutes every day. This type of goal can be set at any time, not just at the start of a new year, but it’s important to be mindful of potential triggers or negative associations that can arise from goal-setting.

Rather than setting unachievable goals like being happy all the time, why not focus on small, achievable goals like being kinder to yourself today than yesterday? Or trying something new just for the fun of it?

Instead of striving for perfection or pushing ourselves beyond our limits, we can set low-risk, measurable goals that allow us to celebrate small victories and give ourselves more grace. This way, we’re not putting undue pressure on ourselves, but rather allowing ourselves to enjoy the journey.

 From my experience, the same approach to setting goals can be applied to big, long-term goals as well. It’s important to focus on making progress, even if it’s just a small step each day. By asking yourself if you’re a bit closer to your goal than you were yesterday, you can measure your progress and stay motivated. Big goals may take longer to achieve, but just like a highway, there are mile markers along the way to show you that you’re making progress.

 My tangible goals for the next 12 months are as follows:

1.  Write More.  My goal is to create one blog a month, and I would also like to draft either a paper, a children’s book, or a novel, even if no one ever sees it. 
2.  Read more to my kids and myself.  We read the first Harry Potter this year, and next year, I’d like to get through book 4. Last year, I read 44 Bucks, and this year, I would like to get through a minimum of 24 books, but ideally, 52 books. To make this goal more achievable for myself, I will count audiobooks in my total book count. 
3.  Go outside every day for at least 30 minutes.  This one might sound like nuts and bolts, but I work from home. I suffer from depression, and it gets cold where I live, so for me, this is a real goal for which I need to hold myself accountable. 

In my next post, I’m going to talk about a goal that I want to share with everyone, that I hope you’ll participate in, that is specifically archeological and culturally related. I hope you’ll join me.